delirium

I think I slept sometime last weekend, or maybe the week before. I lose track. It's the end of the semester and sleep becomes this strange novelty that you think you might remember, but it was so long ago that you're not quite sure. With tests all week this week and three research papers due next week... that novelty will have to wait. Dang. And when I do actually sleep I have these bizarre dreams that make me wish I hadn't attempted to slumber. Good times.

The dream last night was particularly strange, as it seemed to be a continuation of last night's study session. The person I was studying with was there, and when I woke up, I felt like Dorothy, wanting to call him and say, "And you were there!" Eight more school days, followed by only two finals. Two fancy dinners, a banquet, a formal, a concert, and an initiation to go. I think I can, I think I can.

But I find that in these times of total delirium, i.e. right now, I get these strange creative streaks and must be doing something with my hands. Today after my grueling Biblical Greek test, I stumbled to the BSM and painted 3 large signs to hang on the wall. When I got home, I jotted down several story ideas and a couple lines of poetry, and then I got this urge to write on the blog, but I am suppressing the "deep Lindsey" that wants to write right now, because I know how little sleep she has gotten and I don't want her to embarrass me. Sorry, Linz.

What is great about these times is when I sit down to pray. I am so exhausted that I have nothing to say-- a feat for me. I have tons to ask for, I need so much help, and there are so many praises to send His way-- like the fact that I am still functioning at this point. There is an entire world out there to pray for, like the situation in Darfur. But I can't. I start to say something, but I just trail off and end up staring at the wall with this stupid blank expression. I told you this is great-- and it truly is, because at this point I have finally SHUT UP. It is in these times when I hear Him loud and clear, since my own voice cannot drown His out. I used to hate, but in my old age understand, the old addage-- you've got 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason.

Well, I let crazy Lindsey ramble for awhile-- maybe she is ready for bed now-- but I doubt it. I bet she cleans the room and plays on AIM for awhile. That sounds like her. But you gotta love her!