for us rebels

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There is but one good; that is God.

Everything else is good when it looks to Him

and bad when it turns from Him.

And the higher and mightier it is in the natural order,

the more demoniac it will be if it rebels.

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-C.S. Lewis 'The Great Divorce'

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he wishes for the cloths of heaven

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Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
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-W.B. Yeats

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comfort in the storm

Outside it is storming, but inside it is too. Outside the thunder rumbles, the lightning flashes, the rain beats against the window, and the building shakes. Inside, the soul rumbles, the truth flashes its righteous self acrosss the inner-workings, my hands beat against my stubborn head, and the body shakes with sobs. It is because of times like these that we understand peace. It may be awhile yet-- but the storm within must run its course.

I am writing today. I am praying today. I am coming to terms with choices that I have made and the course I have opted to take. Confessions made, repentence shared, forgiveness on the horizon. I miss Him. He is with me today. And when I finally make that choice to listen, that choice to open my heart up, I will see Him. He is standing behind me as we speak, tapping my shoulder, longing to be seen by a heart that shut Him out some time ago. I must go. I must go to Him. Be in prayer, dear friends.

Wisdom isn't an easy thing to obtain, because it cannot be optained through the self. At the center of sin is self-- and it has been all about me for far too long. I have been consumed by self and sin, and have been set apart from that Wisdom I long for and seek. But without these times, I wouldn't understand any of this, and I won't until I am on the other side.

Goodbye, Self. I'm going Home.

it begins to make sense

Read my post from the 17th before you read this one-- this is a follow up. I discovered something. The reason that verse stuck with me-- the part about Jesus not entrusting himself to people-- was that that's exactly what I have been doing. I turn to people, when what I really need to do is turn to Him. This is not to say that spiritual guidance from a mentor is a bad thing, however, I have been using it to replace my time spent turning to Him.

Tomorrow I have a date with Jesus.

stuck in my head

"But Jesus would not entrust himself to them,

for he knew all men.

He did not need man's testimony about man,

for he knew what was in a man."

John 2:24-25

This is the verse that has been stuck in my head all day today from my reading in John last night. Jesus did not entrust himself to man-- because he knew the nature of man-- because he was a man. Not to say we shouldn't trust one another, but reaffirming the belief that we are not to have faith in one another as we have faith in God-- because all people are all-fallible. We WILL mess up, we WILL let each other down, we WILL fail. We sin.

This also hits on something that I have been trying to put into words since a conversation on a hillside in England, where my friend told me that he places all of his faith in people, realizing that he would get let down every time:

Faith is for God alone. That is a love I can have only for Him. I cannot have faith in people-- people will let me down every time. I can, however, in place of this faith, LOVE them. I love God through faith, I love people through love. Does that make any sense? I've been mulling all of this over in my head and can't seem to put it into intelligible words. But I do love how every time I delve into His word, something leaps into my head and my heart and won't let go.

happy birthday to me

November 13th- Pre-Birthday Dinner

Saturday night, out at the ranch in Drippin,' several of my friends gathered, ate, sang, laughed, and played with fire-- all in honor me me getting older. :)

sweet november

Isa Isa Isa!!!

Hey everyone- meet my new friend Isa! Isa is here studying from Sanitago, Spain for a few months. She knows Bart and the rest of the Spain team who are over there now, and she is here staying with Bart's sister. Isa is one of the sweetest, most easy-going and honest people I have ever met. I may not let her go home! Here is a picture of us at Crossroads Cafe-- the international cafe we have at the BSM every Thurday:

November 13th- A Xi D Chapter Retreat

Austin Park and Pizza- good times... But I must say that pizza and teacups do not mix. I love you, ladies! You are the best!!!

November 9th- Jennifer's 21st Birthday Dinner

Jennifer's Birthday took us to Trudy's, where she enjoyed a complimentary Mexican martini and a kiss from a cute guy! (Hope I'll be just as lucky...)




November 4th- BSM Thanksmas Party

the frog princess

Friday, November 4th-- Lindsey's got a date?!!!

I know it sounds crazy-- almost impossible! This I know. But I swear to you it happened, and I dare say went well. I fear to say much more lest the date would prove to be no more than an illusion, a dream. It was more fun than I knew you could have on a date-- no awkwardness at all. Methinks I may try this again...

Saturday, November 5th-- Texas Renaissance Festival

Friends and Romans-- lend me your ears! (Not literally, for that is quite disgusting!) You are about to bare witness to a tale of bravery and beauty-- of chivalry and chastity-- of a
princess and knight in shining armor! Eh-- who am I kidding? Chivalry died with womens' suffrage and guys who wear shiny silver garmets are rarely ever straight. But nevertheless, hope remains alive for all of this and more every year at the Texas Renaissance Fesival.

Now getting there is a bit tricky-- if you are three girls in car with no map (shut up, Julie) with different experiences of traveling to the Renaissance Festival. As we found out there are several roads that will get you there, some longer than others and some more productive than others, but nevertheless- you will get there. Yes, folks-- with the help of two cell-phones, two daddies, and two maps, you can make it there in twice the time it ough to take you. (It was an "adventure" Nicole!)

My favorite thing to do at the Renaissance Festival is to people watch, and by this I mean shamelessly gawk-- because that's definitely what I did. People have to modesty, no fear, no shame, and little taste... which makes for a lively afternoon of gawking. Chain mail should never be worn over bare skin, large women should be fully clothed at all times, and black leather chaps are meant to be worn OVER CLOTHING, not with you bare bum hanging out the back. No man has ever looked good in crushed velvet skin-tight leggings with a socks stuffed in the front, but men who look like knights or princes will always steal my heart away.

Julie, Nicole, and I had a blast! We ate giant turkey legs, watched shows (we loved the washing wenches!), and shopped. We even ran into an old friend from high school, who is a regular at these things. He has all dressed up in his garb (as you will seee in the pictures) and it was great to catch up with him. We were all exhausted by the time we got home-- and I took a night to myself-- Blockbuster and dinner for one, read my novel, everyone called to ask about my date, and finally this princess got a good night's sleep. :)

4 days and no post

Did you miss me?!!! Four days and no post-- what is a loyal fan base to do? Well, will it wet your appetite and appease you for now if I entice you with what is to come? Good...

Get ready for the exciting news of your sweet little Lindsey on a date! Yes-- that's right. Yours truly went on a date Friday night and lived to tell the tale!

Prepare yourself for the glorious tale of Princess Lindsey and her adventures to the Renaissance Festival (and subsequent tour of East Texas..). Pictures and giant turkey legs for all!

And as if that wasn't enough-- you are about to experience a virtual room tour! Yes, that's right! By popular demand-- my amazing room was cleaned and photographed and is ready for the viewing public!

All this and more promised to my beautiful and adoring fans, if you are patient with this busy student. I love you all!!! :)

george w bush is my homeboy

Bush Won!!!

Election night I found myself at one of the funniest gatherings I have ever in my lifetime attended. Kristen and Joanna (you may rememer them from the summer postings in Oxford) had a Bush 04 party in their apartment, which is less than a block from where I live. They went all out and I had a blast!

The first 12 people through the door received a t-shirt with a large "W" on the front, but even if you were not one of the lucky few, you were still invited to "pin the botox injection on John Kerry." Upon entering I was handed a very festive cupcake-- red velvet cake, blue icing, and a large white "W" on top (it was delicious!). The entire apartment was covered in red and blue W's, and there were posters upon which to place the states as the results came in. The apartment was packed with Bush fans-- we conservatives are forced to have small secret gatherings such as this due to our current collegiate condition (i.e. attending the most liberal college in the country).

I had a great time- and it seemed as though everyone else did too. The had an impressive crowd of loyal Bush fans, and it is always nice to find others like us on this campus. :) Kristen and I looked at some video from this summer, namely our "experience" in front of the Eifel Tower, and now I just want to go back... not so much to Paris- but abroad, definitely. I love America with all my heart, but I think I left part of it in England. Anyways... it was really great to see my girls again and to remember old times. And you know- it doesn't get much more American than a red-white-and blue cupcake and a Coca-Cola. Thanks, ladies- you made election night quite an experience! :)

update from spain

Here's what I know from the Spain team. Please continue to be in prayer for each of them.

Caleb and Lindsey came back to the States to see his dad, who had recently been taken off life-support. He dad died about a week ago, and news came Friday that Lindsey and Caleb would not be returning from the States, and Lindsey is going to have her baby here. The baby is due around the 15th (THE GREATEST DAY OF THE WHOLE YEAR!!!), and she is doing fine.

Stephanie, Shanna, and Bart are doing great in Spain. Shanna took a trip to Barcelona (another love of mine) this weekend, while Bart went to the opposite coast to photograph the beach and refresh himself. They are all taking Spanish classes and all do intercambios- 2 hour meetings where one hour is in English and one is in Spanish. It sounds like they have all met some really cool people and are all being used by Him. Stephanie and Bart are each working on photography projects, so there are some great pictures on their blogs.

Go to Bart's blog for the latest: www.bartemeo-negro.blogspot.com
At the top right of his blog there are links to the blogs of the other team members. Stephanie updates hers pretty regularly, and she cracks me up! :) If you would like to send them some snail mail of encouragement, let me know and I'll send you their address. In the top middle of Bart's blog there is a link to his photo-album with hundreds of incredible pictures to peruse at your leisure.

Please continue to be in prayer for each one of them, even those who had to return home. It is all a part of His Perfect Plan.

deep thoughts (much deeper than my own)

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"Character is the will to do what is right

as defined by God,

regardless of personal cost."

Andy Stanley

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***

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"The safest road to hell is the gradual one--

the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden

turning, without milestones, without signposts."

C.S. Lewis

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