homecoming

Bart is coming home today...9:08 pm...I'll be there at baggage claim. Why does time go so slowly when you just want it to fly?

I have a picture, a prediction, of what tonight will be like. The only problem is- what to say? What do you say to someone you haven't spoken to in 4 weeks? Everything I think of seems so impersonal, so trite, but do I really want to be deep and emotional with someone who has been on planes for an absurd number of hours? This is my dilemma. Hmm....

Maybe I should let him speak first and set the mood. That won't happen- I know myself too well. I wish I could stand there and smile and have him come to me- because I don't think he will recognize me and I want him to look for me. But, knowing the girl in me, I will scream and run at him and wrap my arms around him- even though he proabably will wonder who this crazy girl is. (For those of you who don't know, since Bart left I have lost 15 lbs, chopped all my hair off, gotten a tan, purchased new glasses and trendy new clothes- becaus eht old ones were falling off.)

It isn't a big deal- it's just something I can't stop thinking about- so I will plague my blog and its readers with it. The reunion will be good- slightly awkward, very happy, and highly public- as many of our friends will be there to see it. (And even more awkward when Bart reads this post on my blog and realizes that I have told the whole world that I'm this crazy. Sorry honey- they already know.)

I'm am in this agony of anticipation- and thus I will spend my day. The excitement is almost more than I can bear- and certainly more than my co-workers can. Come home, babe!

On a completely unrelated note, I have a new digital camera- which means that my blog is about to get that much more fun. Be prepared. :) I think I annoyed my boss with my photography this morning, but I had a ton of fun! Look forward to future posts and hearing all about our reunion at the airport!!!

love notes

Bart- Welcome home, babe! I missed you! Turkey was blessed to have you- but I'm greedy and glad you are home! :)

Bethie- You caught me a little off guard with your email last night. Your attitude is amazing- but I shouldn't be surprised because you never cease to amaze me. Know that I am praying and thinking of you constantly. Every time I go to Bobioca for bubble tea- I think of you. Let me know when you hear something.

John- Lunch was awesome- we SO needed to talk. Thank you so much. Congrats on your new thing- I'm so happy for you. The BSM isn't the same without you.

Chris- I am SO HAPPY now that you are back home! Texas wasn't the same without you. Thank you so much for lending your talents to our worship this summer- we are truly blessed to have you.

Sheila- My Sheila! Are there words? We always seem to have plenty... I love you.

Ryan- I know things are tough right now, but I hope my absence will help. Let me know when things are better. And thanks for helping out my dad. :)

Gran- THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

Mom- You rock my socks!

Samuel- Thank you for listening to me. It's been awesome getting to know you and I look forward to many for chats! And thanks for helping out at the table...good times. You really make me think. I let you know if I like that or not (just kidding about that last part...).

promise of hello

I'm here at Katy's, saying goodbye. Katy leaves for London tomorrow, and though I don't leave for Oxford for 23 days, the reality of goodbyes has begun to sink in. I've never really had to say goodbye before...I take that back. The last time I left some place for more than 2 weeks, when I moved to Austin from Dallas- that was tough. But that was then- and the Lindsey that says goodbye today is a different person. The goodbyes were different too- I was 13 saying goodbye to the only life I had ever known, the only people I had ever known, going to live in a new place. The differences and similarities to that goodbye are eerie. Once again to go to someplace new, but not forever-- I will return. However, like that first goodbye, I will never return to the place that I left as the same person, with the same view of the world, of life, love, people...

Things are about to change in major ways.

But now I realize that I have lied again- for I have said goodbye much this past semester- though not to a place. Recently, I said goodbye to a dear friend who can no longer stand to see me face to face- and he will decide when we say hello again. I also said goodbye to an old friend who feels that I owe him something that I feel I do not. He cannot forgive, so I relunctantly said goodbye to the friendship we knew. He will probably never decide to say hello again.

But the easiest goodbye and the one that surprised me the most was saying goodbye to myself. That sounds weird. But that is exactly what happened. And the goodbye didn't come until she was actually gone- but the hello was a splendid one, for in that transition from one to the next I became stronger, bolder, wiser, more passionate, more loving, and transparent. I am ME now-- as much as I have ever been.

Goodbyes are not so bad- I guess, in retrospect. For without goodbyes, there would be no hellos, and I have rejoice much in the hellos God has placed in my life recently. The new people, experiences, feelings, and self that I have encountered in the past year...wow. Amazing.

Katy leaves now- I leave soon. May I not dwell in the sadness of goodbyes, but rather, rejoice in the promise of hellos.

Have fun in London, Katy- and then even more in Scotland! I can't wait until we get to say hello again on the streets of London! *mwah*

to someone special

This is a note to someone special who reads my blog religiously:

Gran,
I love you so very much. This weekend was amazing; talking and shopping and hanging out-- I had so much fun! Thank you for loving and listening, and for all that you do and are. Thank you for pushing me to be my best and for supporting me in all that I do. You are an incredible grandmother, friend, and role model. I can't say it enough-- I love you, I love you, I love you.

Luv, Lindsey Lou

a memo from management

Today I challenge each of you visiting my blog who feels so inclined to leave a comment. Comments can be left at the end of each post, usually corresponding to the post above it. Please comment accordingly.
I ask this only because it saddens me each day to check my blog and have not a single post from anyone. *tear* So please (*sob, sob*) comment today on anything that strikes your fancy. And please remember- my family reads this blog (so don't be crude).
Witty, comical, insightful, and/or kind comments are eagerly accepted. Rude, crude, and/or socially unacceptable commentors will the spade and/or neutered (depending on my mood). Thank you for considering this option to comment and have a blessed day.
--Management

underneath a shade tree

Withdrawing to the inside
Shadows in my mind
Farewell to all the outside
That which I leave behind

Underneath the willow tree
High upon a hill
Wind whipping through my hair and dress
My smile displays my thrill

Peaceful is the word of choice
Though much goes on around
But not a care lies in my head
As I sprawl out on the ground

The sky above is brilliant blue
Though soon the there will be more
The colors will dance above the sea
Like nothing I've seen before

The grass-- it bends, the daisies too
I lean against my tree
The words will come just soon enough
They never come from me

But His timing is perfection
I'm not meant to understand
I prepare for it here where I sit
My pen perched in my hand

He speaks to me of a love so true
An eternal endless kind
And write away I always do
On the walls of both heart and mind

Waves crash on the rocks beneath the cliff
Only my ears see them from where I lay
A serene sunset on the water's edge
Colors floating where they may

My time here passes quicker now
As daylight retreats and is no more
The fulness of light rises over head
And flickers on this grassy floor

The moon casts shadows across my face
The shade tree loves this time
A beauty never seen before
True happiness sublime

This is where I come to seek
And this is where I hear
The Truth, the Light, the Holy One
He whispers in my ear

I run to meet Him in the field
He smiles and stands so strong
With arms outstreched and open wide
In Him I forever belong

Back to the world I know I must
This place is ne'er forgot
But the truth is that I never leave
This is my rightful spot

So you may see me in a class
Or pass under a streetlight dim
But to say I am there would be a lie
In Truth- I am always with Him

speak to me

Today I was touched greatly by the words of others...

"Getting honest with ourselves does not make us unacceptable to God. It does not distance us from God, but draws us to Him-- as nothing else can-- and opens us anew to the flow of grace. While Jesus calls each of us to a more perfect life, we cannot achieve it on our won. To be alive is to be broken; to be broken is to stand in need of grace. IT is only through grace that any of us could dare to hope that we could become more like Christ."
--Brennan Manning "The Ragamuffin Gospel"

"I went sky divin, I went Rocky Mountain climbin, I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu-man-chu. And I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying. And he said, 'Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dyin.'"
--Tim McGraw "Live like you were dying"

"There is so much more that we do not know, so many great things in store for us. I am thinking of you; think of me too."
--a photograph

"You're cool sometimes."
--Daniel (the little brother)

"Dallas City Limit"
--road sign

"Welcome to Starbucks! How may I help you?"
--in that moment, my favorite person

"I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys."
--Song of Songs 2:1

Several unconnected and seamingly random sources and comments, but there is indeed a common thread. Each of these met a need, today. My heart and head are full.

family ties

Strange? Nah. It doesn't get much more normal than this.
I love you, Mom, Dad, Moo, and Dan.
Thanks for making home feel like home this summer, and I will miss you while studying abroad. And to P1 and P2- next summer we will return to reclaim the "facilties" which are rightfully ours, luv P3.

felicity through fellowship

I love my Alpha Xi Delta Sisters! You ladies are absolutely incredible and I love you all very much. I miss you all and look forward to moving back into the house in the fall. Xi Luv and TFJ!




As I survey my semster in retrospect, I realize that much of the time the lessons I learned were from my friends (though I am only able to showcase a few of you here). Thank you all for teaching and supporting me. God intends for His chldren to grow together, seeing pieces of Him in one another.

Oh! And a special shout-out to Chris: I am so psyched that you are home! There's no place like Texas! I love your new hair, and thank you so much for helping out at the BSM. You are such an awesome servant and friend.


Teaching at retreats was a joyous blessing and I think of my girls all the time. These are a few of the weekends, and the people who helped to make them possible. Like I said, you guys are my teachers, and I have learned much. Thank you for allowing God to use you to change my heart and my life.

it is in these times

Yesterday I spent the evening with a very good friend and just talked. We went to Mozart's and sat inside. This friend that I was with- she is a very special young lady. She and I know each other pretty well, but every time we talk like this we discover so much more that we have in common, or that we don't but still love about one another.
We had "boy talk" to catch up on- each of us having a new and exciting person in our lives, and each of us knowing that is is completely a God-thing. We each did a "semester in review," a less than brief synopsis of what God has done in our lives this semster, and how our lives have both so drastically changed. And as we spoke, I sat in amazement.
I am a completely different person than I was at the beginning of this semester. My relationship with Him has also changed. And it is in these times of fellowship with someone so close that I truly begin to realize the sheer awesomeness of what has occurred. So thank you, dear friend, for your honesty, candidness, and sincerity. You mean more to me than you know.

i luv these crazy people...

proof of the madness

We said goodbye out on the rocks with the wind whipping around us, enclosing us in its warm embrace. It was hard to say it, but it was the sweetest of sweet goodbyes.


Congratulations, babe. We are all so very proud.


...and we're pretty stinkin' cute....teehee...

after awhile

Hey- so my consistency in questionable in this new endeavor, but these have been crazy times. Let me do the past few weeks in fast forward:
1. Bart: new relationship, new feelings, new experiences, packed him to move, met each others' families, he graduated, packed him to travel, last minute details, sweetest of sweet goodbyes, he leaves the country
2. school: less luck here because of decisions made during the year, finals were not fun, missed one because very ill, blah
3. work: here's a fun one- somehow lost my summer job to earn money before Oxford, boss on campus kind enough to help out, avoiding spending money like the plague
4. prep for Oxford: 4 books and a course packet to read, papers to write, travel books to review, plans to make, arrangements, errands, MONEY?, so much
5. moving home: readjusting to some old rules and the fact that people care now if I stay out all night, in the middle of nowhere, quiet and a little lonely
6. sister graduates: party, dinners, family in town, graduation, "I do what I want, when I want" -Moo
7. SO MUCH MORE...(inculding a freak hail storm- sorry about your car, Moo)

So, excuses aside, things have calmed down and I'm getting back on track. I need to work the kinks out of this baby before leaving the country. (Countdown: 37 days, depart July 9th) I'm working on campus- I love UT! I miss it when I'm not there. I'm seeing so many friends- a special shout out to Chris~ welcome back to Texas! I miss Bart, but I'm so excited for him and what he is doing. Join me in praying for him and for his team, please. I'm going to see if I can get some more pictures up here now... I love you all, and Bart- be safe.