i never saw blue like that before
There is a Sarah McLauchlin has a song that I have always loved, but never until yetserday fully understood...
"I never saw blue like that before
Across the sky, around the world
You've given me all you have, and more
And no one else has ever shown me how
To see the world the way I see it now
No I-- I never saw blue like that before."
Thursday night after finals, I went home to Drippin' for my little brother's holiday band concert. That night, I stayed out on the ranch, being in no physcial condition to drive back to campus. And I slept. I slept for almost 12 hours, until the sun and the heat beconed me awake. (Yes- it is December and 75 degrees in Texas.) So I sat up, smiled, and walked outside.
Our house on the ranch has a wrap-around porch, and in the back of the house you can stand on that porch and gaze off in the distance at the beautiful Texas Hill Country. It was there I stopped and sat and stared. God and I haven't talked much this semester-- the fault of that being solely upon my head. I stopped listening some time back, and have had a difficult time rebuilding what we once had. When you turn your back and walk away, and just keep walking, it takes some time to run back to where you first detoured. But He revealed something to me that quickened my pace.
Everytime I came to Him, I asked things such as, "Lord- what can I do to get us back where we once were? Where did I go wrong? Reveal yourself to me? What do you want me to do with my life?" And last Sunday at Austin Stone, God tapped me on the back and said, "Hey kid-- there are too many I's and me's in there. It's not about you at all." Something so simple-- something so basic! How could I have forgotten?! It's ALL about Him-- always has been and it always will be! How foolish I have been, trying to reunite with The One I love, and being so selfish in that love.
So I sang. I sang to the God who created all that my eyes were falling upon at that very moment. I sang to the God who created all that ever was or ever will be. I sang to the only One who can make me crash to me knees and lift me high into the air, the One who loved me so much that He came here for me, died here for me, and rose again for me. I sang to the only One who has ever truly loved me, because He created love-- a perfect love-- a love that knows no boundaries has no limitations. I worshiped Him for who He is. It wasn't about me yesterday morning. That's what made it a great morning.
I found myself sitting in meditation, standing in excitement, arms in the air with praise, feet planted- arms thrown back- heart forward in earnest desire, and laying on the ground in the nothingness that I am without Him. But it was at the point of sitting that He revealed to me blue. Hugging my knees, staring at the ground, I realized the brightness of the sun had affected my vision, and now all that I looked at was in shades of blue. There was no color to anything, except a strange shade of hazy blue-gray. And I looked at myself, and I was blue too. Well, that fits, I thought. Blue. My semester. Me. Colorless and hazy. And blue. Sorrow and sadness, guilt and embarrassment washed over me.
"Lay down," He said.
"What?"
"Lay down."
So I did.
I laid out on my back on the edge of the porch and opened my eyes. Blue. All blue. And not just any blue- but the most beautiful blue that I had ever seen. "That fits," He said. And then I knew. Blue is the most incredible color that God created, and it is the one He used most often. Think about it-- water and sky-- all blue. He had to love it-- He used it everywhere!!!
He then drew my vision to a hilltop in the distance. "Look," He said. What I saw at that point as this: the hilltop stood there in the distance, and the sky came to meet it, only, the sky was no longer that gorgeous blue when it came to meet the hilltop. Instead, the blue faded laighter and lighter as it came to the hilltop. And then it hit me. Before I came to this period in my life, I had been on a hilltop, growing for quite some time. I was standing on that hilltop, and though at the time, I thought I was in that gorgeous blue, I wasn't. It wasn't until I fell back to the ground and cried out to Him, that He pointed to the sky to reveal what deep blue is all about. Mountaintops are great, but unless you spend some time in the valley, you lose sight. "See, Lindsey-- you are blue, and blue is where I want you to be."
God used my blue semester for His Glory, because that is who He is and how great He is. We sat and talked. He poured into and over me and filled me with joy. I was me again yesterday, because He was in me. He reminded me of my trip to Barcelona and my venture into the Picasso museum. The Blue Period. Picasso had one too. What irked me about the Picasso museum was that the periods in his life were labeled, as if the phases of his life fit into specific groups with specific guidelines. I hated that Picasso wasn't free to change gradually, as they labeled his years with their own opinions of what he was thinking and feeling. Let the artist be who the artist he is. Let him feel what he is feeling and experience what life has for him. But labels stick. I have been "sunshine" to my father and "daisy" to my friends for my entire life. When I began to enter into this blue-ness, I felt like I was letting everyone down, but people change. I had been yellow for my entire life, but now I am blue.
"I never saw blue like that before" because I never saw God like that before. I saw Him from the ground, because He is there too. He walks with me through the valleys and will someday walk with me over the peaks, and He never leaves my side. This semester, I ran as far as I could, and even when I hit the ground, I could do nothing else but look up and sing:
I lift my eyes up, to the mountains,
where does my help come from?
My help comes from You,
Maker of Heaven, Creator of the earth.
Oh how I need You, Lord,
You are my only hope,
You are my only prayer
So I will wait for You
To come and rescue me
To come and give me Life
sing with me...
"I never saw blue like that before
Across the sky, around the world
You've given me all you have, and more
And no one else has ever shown me how
To see the world the way I see it now
No I-- I never saw blue like that before."
"I never saw blue like that before
Across the sky, around the world
You've given me all you have, and more
And no one else has ever shown me how
To see the world the way I see it now
No I-- I never saw blue like that before."
Thursday night after finals, I went home to Drippin' for my little brother's holiday band concert. That night, I stayed out on the ranch, being in no physcial condition to drive back to campus. And I slept. I slept for almost 12 hours, until the sun and the heat beconed me awake. (Yes- it is December and 75 degrees in Texas.) So I sat up, smiled, and walked outside.
Our house on the ranch has a wrap-around porch, and in the back of the house you can stand on that porch and gaze off in the distance at the beautiful Texas Hill Country. It was there I stopped and sat and stared. God and I haven't talked much this semester-- the fault of that being solely upon my head. I stopped listening some time back, and have had a difficult time rebuilding what we once had. When you turn your back and walk away, and just keep walking, it takes some time to run back to where you first detoured. But He revealed something to me that quickened my pace.
Everytime I came to Him, I asked things such as, "Lord- what can I do to get us back where we once were? Where did I go wrong? Reveal yourself to me? What do you want me to do with my life?" And last Sunday at Austin Stone, God tapped me on the back and said, "Hey kid-- there are too many I's and me's in there. It's not about you at all." Something so simple-- something so basic! How could I have forgotten?! It's ALL about Him-- always has been and it always will be! How foolish I have been, trying to reunite with The One I love, and being so selfish in that love.
So I sang. I sang to the God who created all that my eyes were falling upon at that very moment. I sang to the God who created all that ever was or ever will be. I sang to the only One who can make me crash to me knees and lift me high into the air, the One who loved me so much that He came here for me, died here for me, and rose again for me. I sang to the only One who has ever truly loved me, because He created love-- a perfect love-- a love that knows no boundaries has no limitations. I worshiped Him for who He is. It wasn't about me yesterday morning. That's what made it a great morning.
I found myself sitting in meditation, standing in excitement, arms in the air with praise, feet planted- arms thrown back- heart forward in earnest desire, and laying on the ground in the nothingness that I am without Him. But it was at the point of sitting that He revealed to me blue. Hugging my knees, staring at the ground, I realized the brightness of the sun had affected my vision, and now all that I looked at was in shades of blue. There was no color to anything, except a strange shade of hazy blue-gray. And I looked at myself, and I was blue too. Well, that fits, I thought. Blue. My semester. Me. Colorless and hazy. And blue. Sorrow and sadness, guilt and embarrassment washed over me.
"Lay down," He said.
"What?"
"Lay down."
So I did.
I laid out on my back on the edge of the porch and opened my eyes. Blue. All blue. And not just any blue- but the most beautiful blue that I had ever seen. "That fits," He said. And then I knew. Blue is the most incredible color that God created, and it is the one He used most often. Think about it-- water and sky-- all blue. He had to love it-- He used it everywhere!!!
He then drew my vision to a hilltop in the distance. "Look," He said. What I saw at that point as this: the hilltop stood there in the distance, and the sky came to meet it, only, the sky was no longer that gorgeous blue when it came to meet the hilltop. Instead, the blue faded laighter and lighter as it came to the hilltop. And then it hit me. Before I came to this period in my life, I had been on a hilltop, growing for quite some time. I was standing on that hilltop, and though at the time, I thought I was in that gorgeous blue, I wasn't. It wasn't until I fell back to the ground and cried out to Him, that He pointed to the sky to reveal what deep blue is all about. Mountaintops are great, but unless you spend some time in the valley, you lose sight. "See, Lindsey-- you are blue, and blue is where I want you to be."
God used my blue semester for His Glory, because that is who He is and how great He is. We sat and talked. He poured into and over me and filled me with joy. I was me again yesterday, because He was in me. He reminded me of my trip to Barcelona and my venture into the Picasso museum. The Blue Period. Picasso had one too. What irked me about the Picasso museum was that the periods in his life were labeled, as if the phases of his life fit into specific groups with specific guidelines. I hated that Picasso wasn't free to change gradually, as they labeled his years with their own opinions of what he was thinking and feeling. Let the artist be who the artist he is. Let him feel what he is feeling and experience what life has for him. But labels stick. I have been "sunshine" to my father and "daisy" to my friends for my entire life. When I began to enter into this blue-ness, I felt like I was letting everyone down, but people change. I had been yellow for my entire life, but now I am blue.
"I never saw blue like that before" because I never saw God like that before. I saw Him from the ground, because He is there too. He walks with me through the valleys and will someday walk with me over the peaks, and He never leaves my side. This semester, I ran as far as I could, and even when I hit the ground, I could do nothing else but look up and sing:
I lift my eyes up, to the mountains,
where does my help come from?
My help comes from You,
Maker of Heaven, Creator of the earth.
Oh how I need You, Lord,
You are my only hope,
You are my only prayer
So I will wait for You
To come and rescue me
To come and give me Life
sing with me...
"I never saw blue like that before
Across the sky, around the world
You've given me all you have, and more
And no one else has ever shown me how
To see the world the way I see it now
No I-- I never saw blue like that before."
